


But Their Hearts Forever

by counterheist



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Miscommunication, Polyamory, javier loves his mamma, kind of sad at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 11:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counterheist/pseuds/counterheist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovina has Alejandro. Antonia has Celio. Against the odds, Antonio has Gisella. Romano might think he’s gotten off easy, but really he was the first mother out of all of them. Or: five times Romano was a mom (<i>and one he was not</i>).</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Their Hearts Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cutthroatpixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Six in One](https://archiveofourown.org/works/628000) by [cutthroatpixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/pseuds/cutthroatpixie). 



> a very belated Mother’s Day fic for zike's OT4verse.

❁

 

Javier’s first memory is of being very small, very cold, and very wet. Rain, he learns later: the horrible things falling from the sky were unforgiving droplets of rain. He remembers feeling before he remembers seeing, because even though his eyes didn’t open for days when he was small, nothing could have stopped him from feeling every misery the world brought on. Wind soon accompanied the rain, and no matter how much he curled in on himself he still felt cold. And small. And wet.

Then sight came.

With sight came the realization that he was alone, and sadness and chill and hunger fought over who got to waste Javier away first. But, really, that was before Javier even had a name. He wasn’t Javier then. He was a very small, very cold, and very wet little thing hiding behind a very big Thing that also didn’t have a name, because the very lonely not-Javier didn’t know what names were then. He knew what crying was, and he did it, but nobody came to—what? Not-Javier didn’t know what was supposed to happen after you cried until much later. Not until the day he found the energy to move from behind the big Thing to under another and spent so long crying that he lost his voice. And, after he lost his voice, something warm, and so, so _good_ -smelling dropped to the ground near him, and not-Javier used the last of his strength to scrabble inside it.

 

The day they get the cat is one of the worst days of Romano’s life. He has to deal with the café on his own, all the customers are assholes, and they run out of cups four hours too early. Romano spends those four hours running back and forth between the register, the espresso machine and the sink. On his last trip back from the kitchen he discovers that some fucker’s stolen all the change in the tip jar. As soon as Romano finally locks the door to the hellhole behind himself for the night, and it’s well after dark, the afternoon’s light drizzle turns into round two of Noah’s storm.

And Romano left his umbrella at home.

Of course.

 _Of course_ Romano left his umbrella at home.

He stomps to the bus stop and swears to every saint in his extensive library of Saints To Swear To that he still has an unused bus ticket. Against his every expectation he does, at the very bottom of his bag, and once he finds it he triumphantly holds it up in defiance of the weather. While he does this, the universe gets back at him by making his bag drop into a puddle. Romano dives for it, slips, falls, swears, loses his grip on the ticket, and has to chase after it when the wind pulls it away. His bus splashes past right as Romano finally catches up to his soaked and disintegrating.

Luckily, the bus stop has a little overhanging shelter… thing… and no one steals Romano’s bag while he’s away from it. Those are two things out of a day of shit to be thankful for, and if Romano doesn’t notice that his bag is a little heavier when the next bus finally comes, fifteen minutes late, he notices when he shoves his hand into it for his keys and comes up with a mangy ball of fur.

Romano screams, and later, despite his every protest— “The thing has fleas and God knows what else. Antonio get away from- **we are not keeping it**! Don’t give me that look! I _hate_ cats”— Antonia christens the scrawny stowaway Javier, and Romano is put on the 4-5am Watch The Kitten To Make Sure It Doesn’t Die rotation.

 

❁❁

 

It takes weeks, over a month, for Javier’s health to stabilize. But by the time a year has passed Javier thinks he’s ready to leave the house and go on some real adventures. He sees his parents leave the front door every day, with their grumbles and smiles, and though they let him prowl the depths of the back yard sometimes, most of Javier’s life since the day Mamma brought him home has involved white carpet jungles and forests full of suits and ties.

Mamma will cry, Javier knows, because Mamma loves it when Javier plays in his clothes space ( _“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU DEMON CAT”_ ), but Javier needs more than that. So, one morning after Antonio feeds Javier, and Antonia brushes him, and Lovina doesn’t step on him like she says she will every day, and Mamma plays ‘Mamma Pushes Me Away and I Come Right Back’ with Javier for ten whole minutes, Javier makes his escape. This involves slipping out the front door when Antonio leaves it propped open after he rushes back inside to get the lunch he forgot. Antonio is really forgetful, Javier has learned. Sometimes he even forgets Javier’s Mamma is his Mamma, and tries to feed Javier with a horrible-tasting plastic thing that Javier later learns is a baby bottle.

So forgetful!

For one thing, Javier isn’t a baby: he’s a cat. For another, Mamma decided after a month that Javier was big enough to “eat from a bowl outside or something. Maybe then it’ll go away. It looks too stupid to find its way back inside anyway,” and Javier purred up a storm when Mamma presented him his own dish. Javier doesn’t need a bottle anymore.

But he indulges Antonio, because Antonio doesn’t understand like Mamma does, and Antonio gives Javier the perfect avenue for escape like Mamma never would. Mamma is much too careful with Javier.

 

Nine months in, Romano loses the coin toss to Lovina and has to be the one to tie the cat up in a sack and leave him on the side of a bridge across town. Antonio gets wind of the plan before Romano can even pull one of the uglier fingerpaint-covered totes from the closet, and later that night Romano has to listen to a lecture on love and respect and animals, and Lovina doesn’t, and it isn’t _fair_. Antonio doesn’t get it. Antonia doesn’t get it. Lovina gets it.

The cat is evil.

It watches Romano everywhere he goes. The day after Romano accidentally brought it home, it decided that its box in the kitchen wasn’t good enough, after Lovina fell asleep on her shift _that traitorous harpy_. No, the only thing good enough for the mangy runt had to be Romano’s goddamned closet, where the runt had spread white and brown fur all over Romano’s clothes. Then it, the demon cat, had the gall to refuse to sleep anywhere else.

It cried when Romano locked it outside of his room.

It _still_ cries when Romano locks it out, not that Romano does that very often because when faced with the choice of cat noises and no sleep, against freaky cat eyes in his closet staring at him all night and sleep, Romano chooses sleep. It watches Romano from his closet; or any closet, because it follows Romano around when he tries to sleep somewhere else. It follows Romano into the fucking shower. And, worst of all it has tried to milk Romano six times.

Six.

Fucking.

Times.

Every day Romano comes home from work hoping against hope that the cat got out during the day and got lost. Or picked off by a stray hawk… Romano isn’t that choosy when it comes to getting rid of the cat ( _“Romanoooo, his name is Javier! You’re hurting his feelings!” “Cats don’t have feelings.”_ ). One day in late summer he gets his wish: Antonio and Antonia start up a search party as soon as _Javier_ doesn’t come downstairs for dinner from wherever in Romano’s room he’s been skulking all day. Antonio searches the house, Antonia searches the yard, and Lovina and Romano break out some nice champagne to celebrate.

Then Romano has to go and be an idiot. He sees three birds high up, over the neighborhood, circling over something. Idly, he wonders to himself whether they’ve found Javier… or what’s left of him. It turns out they have. Antonia races down the street in a rare moment of insight before Romano can even finish his thought, and before long she’s racing back through the front door with a skittish bundle in her arms.

Lovina sighs and puts the champagne flutes away.

 

❁❁❁

 

Javier watches the new little thing in Lovina’s arms and is surprised when he doesn’t see any fur there. The ears are all wrong, too, and not a whisker to be found! Alejandro is such a strange little brother. But Alejandro is still Javier’s brother, so Javier tolerates the childish noise and smells and messes as best he can. It helps that Javier is wise now. He knows better than to get too far from Mamma, no matter how good ( _really good_ ) the ladycat next door smells in the spring. Still, sometimes Alejandro is too much. Javier misses the old days.

 

To the surprise of only himself, Romano doesn’t hate the kid like he hates the cat. Far from it. Romano can spend hours with Alessandro, watching him squirm and sigh and laugh. There is something in Alessandro that Romano never expected to see in a miniature slobbering shit monster, so much so that he snaps at anyone who dares to even compare Alessandro with another child. Other children are like the cat. Alessandro is perfection, or damn well near it.

 

❁❁❁❁

 

Javier doesn’t like sharing his Mamma’s attention, but as his brother grows everything changes and he finds himself doing just that. Mamma doesn’t spend half as long in the evenings yowling his love at Javier when Javier takes naps on Mamma’s face. And the half-hearted waves Mamma throws when Javier sleeps with his head up Mamma’s pants is practically neglectful. It’s not really surprising that Mamma doesn’t have much energy to play anymore, as Alejandro hasn’t learned how to sleep through the night yet.

Antonia gets really upset when Javier tries to give Alejandro some tips.

Slightly cowed from all the shouting, Javier spends the rest of the evening thinking in the pantry. Mamma and Alejandro have been nearly inseparable ever since Lovina brought Alejandro home from wherever she found him. If Javier wants as much love from Mamma as he used to get, he’ll have to include Alejandro in his plans. That is… Javier will have to include Alejandro unless he can figure out a game _so good_ that Mamma won’t be able to stop himself from playing.

The games start immediately. Steal Kisses from Mamma When He’s Trying to Kiss Other People works until Alejandro forgets where the litter box is ( _again_ ). Bat at Mamma’s Socks When He is Trying to Put Them on His Feet is only good in the mornings, but it does work every time. Jump Into Mamma’s Lap When Mamma is About to Follow Somebody Into the Bedroom never lasts very long, because Mamma only ever yowls, picks Javier up, and tosses him somewhere else. But it’s still a lot of fun.

And, well, attention is attention.

Javier has never lost Who Will Blink First When Mamma is Naked. But his favorite game of all, the game that never fails no matter what time it is or how much Alejandro smells, is Shower Time. Javier loves Shower Time, because it’s a combination of all of the other games, in a way, and it makes Mamma yowl the loudest.

When Javier discovers how much fun Shower Time is, he feels loved.

 

He doesn’t know who did it, exactly, he’s betting Lovina, but when Romano catches who exactly taught the cat how to undo the bathroom door latch, he will commit pre-meditated homicide. Someone will die. There is no greater betrayal than teaching the demon cat how to get in the bathroom and stare at Romano’s junk when Romano’s been up half the night trying to get the kid to stop pretending to be Lovina before her morning coffee. It doesn’t matter how much he loves her, or him, Antonio’s been looking suspiciously chipper for the father of a screaming toddler; someone is going to d—“ **Who the fuck let it in again?! Get off me!** ”

 

❁❁❁❁❁

 

By the time Gisella comes home ( _again Javier is disappointed that his family only ever seems to pick up really odd, furless children. Is there a cat shortage in the city?_ ), Javier is used to this whole baby thing. Been there, been upset about that. He’s old enough now to appreciate his brothers and new little sister, not to mention his own place in his family’s life. Javier is the one to lick Alejandro’s cuts and scrapes. Javier, too, is the one to teach Celio how to catch mice, although that really should have been Antonia’s job.

He thinks, sometimes, about starting his own family; those thoughts don’t take him very far. He’s not a kitten anymore, and he doesn’t fear the outside world like he once did, but when he thinks about leaving, and he does it more and more, he always arrives at the same answer.

No.

Mamma would be heartbroken, for one. Javier has the suspicion that Mamma can’t sleep without Javier’s calming presence in the room ( _obviously because Mamma needs to know his children are safe at all times. It was that way with Alejandro too_ ). After years and years of making sure Mamma stays safe throughout the night, Javier isn’t about to abandon him.

And then there’s the rest of the family. Alejandro and Celio, and now little Gisella more than ever, need Javier. He’s their big brother, even though they aren’t lucky enough to be cats as well.

And there is Lovina.

And Antonio.

And Antonia.

Javier has a lot of people; he doesn’t need anyone else.

 

Antonia and Antonio want to get the cat fixed. They don’t want him wandering off, and they don’t want him getting attached to a strange lady housecat. Antonio and Antonia have strange ideas about the love lives of cats, and what is proper, and instead of crashing their towers of crystal idiocy around them with well-placed stones of truth, Romano lets them dream. They’re stupid, but that doesn’t surprise anyone.

Lovina also wants to get the cat fixed, but she doesn’t have any illusions about Javier getting his heart broken. This is because Lovina isn’t an idiot. She’s a cruel, horrible bitch ( _with great tits_ ), yes, but she isn’t stupid. Romano doesn’t think he could survive a relationship with three people on the level of Antonia and Antonio.

For his part, Romano does not want to get the cat fixed, and somehow, even though the rest are against it, he gets his way. Romano’s reasons are exactly the same as Antonia, and Lovina, and Antonio’s, just twisted 180 degrees in motivation: Romano wants the cat to wander off.

He also wants the cat to get tied up in some kind of catmance on the other side of the city. Maybe if they’re all lucky, the lucky lady will be on the show circuit and the owner will have a pistol… no. Romano, despite his constant threats of kicking, and beating, and drowning, and hawks, does not want the cat dead. He won’t admit it to any of the others, because the cat still finds great and twisted joy in burrowing under Romano’s shirt and licking his torso when Romano’s just trying to fuck one of his spouses and no, Antonio, **this is not funny get it off me**.

Romano doesn’t want the cat to die. He just wants it gone, preferably forever.

 

✿

 

Javier doesn’t feel so good. His paws have ached for a long time, ever since Gisella started walking on her own, but today the pain is worse than ever. His joints creak. He keeps padding into walls, and then forgetting, and then doing it again, and it’s the most confusing thing in the world. Whatever’s happening to him, Javier doesn’t like it.

But he’s too old to worry about things like that now, and he needs to rest if he wants to dance and sing with Gisella later. Gisella is probably Javier’s favorite sibling, partially because she can almost understand him and they never fight, and partially because she’s a little bit magical. It takes a lot of energy to keep up with her, and as the days go by Javier finds it harder and harder to stay in step.

To make up his energy, Javier spends most of his days, now, sleeping on Mamma’s pillow. Mamma must be able to sense Javier’s weakness, and he’s a little embarrassed by that but also grateful, because Mamma doesn’t even play Does Javier Always Land on His Feet ( _He Does_ ) anymore. Instead, Mamma grumbles, and strokes Javier’s fur, and whispers nice things like, “If I wake up and you’re smothering me, I really am going to drown you this time.”

Today, something is different. Javier can smell it, surprisingly, because Javier hasn’t been able to smell well recently. But there’s something different in the air, and in Javier’s bones.

And then.

He can’t jump up to Mamma’s pillow. He’s too tired for even that. Javier has never been that tired before. He hopes, as he slinks into Mamma’s closet instead, with a sigh, that Mamma will know what’s wrong, and will be able to fix it. Javier trusts his mother.

 

For no stupid amount of reasons, Romano never thought he would have to explain death to the kids this way. A part of him always hoped this speech would happen later, when they were all out of college and living celibately near home ( _but not too near_ ). That part of Romano had a full-on speech about how ‘Nonno got what was coming to him’ prepared, and is currently at a loss to explain away the round little pile of cold fur tucked away in Romano’s closet, nestled between two pairs of shoes and on top of all of Romano’s best ties.

His throat feels thick when he swallows.

“Babbo, why won’t Javier sing the chorus to the Hiding Song with me?,” Gisella asks. She had been the one to find the cat—the cat’s body— and she still thinks it’s a game. Her voice raises and Romano can hear footsteps from the other side of the house. “Babbo! Babbo, Javier loves the chorus!”

Shit.

“Babbo, why?!”

In a very characteristic act of cowardice, Romano strokes his daughter’s hair and waits for Antonia to walk up from the kitchen, investigating the source of the noise. He defers the explanations to her, and the disposal of the body to Lovina, of all people. She’s quick about it, and Romano doesn’t ask what she does with it once she leaves the room and Antonia’s soothing voice behind.

“When people—”

“And cats?”

“Yes, when people and cats have lived very long, and very good lives…”

Antonia has it handled, and Gisella is only crying a little, now, so Romano stops listening.

The cat is dead.

Later that night, Romano looks into his closet, sees nothing, and can’t sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy ( _Belated_ ) Mother’s Day on ( _Belated American Ahahaha_ ) Father’s Day, Romano. It’s because you’re worth it. I was drafting this up in my head when I remembered that for Gisella to be a certain age the other kids would have to be pretty old and the cat would have to be nearing the scratching post in the sky.
> 
>  **Title is part of a mother-themed quote:** _Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever._
> 
>  **Also:** credit to zike for ‘Mamma Pushes Me Away and I Come Right Back’ as well as Javier’s name.
> 
>  **Unrelated:** now that this and other things are out of the way, I’ll be working on more porno AU stuff this week. And maybe something entirely different. I’ve been having ~feelings~ from replaying TP so I might just try my hand at getting into Link’s head. Writing outside of APH??? Madness, I know. I’m unsure about it too.


End file.
